Where are you Christmas?

**Drafted last Christmas and finally finished**

Christmas’s haven’t been the same for me for quite some time. It seems that things in my life changed, so Christmas changed.  When I heard the song, “Where are you Christmas” by Faith Hill on Christmas Eve, I actually listened to the words and could relate…

My best memories of Christmas are my brothers and I waking up really early on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought us.  We would all go together into the Living Room to find present’s in our assigned area. (Santa still leaves my gifts in my Chair)  My Uncle bud would visit us in the morning and we would have a big breakfast. Once my cousin Austin was born, we started the tradition of having breakfast at my Aunt and Uncle’s. Mom prepared a delicious lunch and later that evening we would either visit my other Aunt or our closest family friends. Christmas was great growing up.

Over the past 7 years, Christmas has changed. Our Christmas Eve’s are not the same and to be honest Christmas’s are not the same. A friend stated, that I should start my own traditions. I loved that idea. For the past 4 years, I have visited my best friend’s children. I love seeing them on Christmas morning! Then I eat breakfast with my family and enjoy the day with them.

This year, I am excited about starting new traditions with Eric. Even though it will be a crazy day, I am happy to start new traditions with him. I am excited about the Christmas’s to come and the new traditions that will start.

What is important is to remember the TRUE meaning of Christmas. It is the time to honor the LORD and the blessing he sent us. I have to remember this when I get down and spoiled when things don’t go my way.

Where are you Christmas
Why can’t I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can’t I hear music play

My world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I’m not the same one
See what the time’s done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I’ve found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love

Someone Like You

Adele’s new song, Someone Like You, is a beautiful song. It brings back a flood of memories from 6 years ago. I had broken up with my college sweetheart and my world was turned upside down. I remember holding onto the person he was for many years after. I compared guys to him, including the one I dated after him for 3 years. I wanted someone like him (loyal, caring, a good person,loving, etc). My best friend told me, you are going to find it BiGGer and BeTTer, I am sure of it!

Surely enough, after being patient, and when I least expected it, I met my sweetheart. He is truly “BIGGER AND BETTER”.  I have never met someone who genuinely love and cares for me. He knows me on an intimate level. He loves me for who I am and is also looking at the good qualities in me. He sees the best in me. He appreciates me and loves my heart. I can honestly say, I have never been loved like this before. Oh and believe me, times before, I thought I was loved, but never like this. The love that was given was different. It was more of a, “you’re sweet, pretty, nice, caring”. Now I am loved on a more intense level (if that makes any sense).

So when I hear this song, I think; “Man, six years ago, I would be crying my eyes out”.  But now, I smile and think about who I have in my life now and how grateful I am to have found him. He is truly a blessing in my life.

Just as Free

***This was written in July and I am just now posting it***

 

A friend reminded me last night, that I haven’t posted in awhile on my blog. Since the New Year, I have been so busy. A relationship developed with a wonderful guy, a best friend got married, I turned 30, and I have been traveling, it seems, every weekend.  So for once, I am home on a Friday night enjoying “me” time.

I remember the week before I turned 30, I went through a mini mid-life crisis. My best friend and family threw me a wonderful party a week before my actual birthday. It hit me all at once. This party was actually for me. I am actually turning 30. I am not married, I don’t have kids, and I wasn’t sure if any of this was going to happen. Then I thought, do I really want all of this…. what is my future going to be like.  After the party was over, I was getting ready for bed and I dropped to the floor and started crying. I laid there crying for awhile, until I was exhausted,  Of course alcohol played a role in this melt down.  I look back and I am glad this happened. I had my moment and on my actual birthday, I was fine with turning 30.  Age is nothing but a number! I feel the same way I did when I was 23 (just a little bit wiser).

I had a wonderful trip to Nashville with wonderful friends. It meant a lot that they traveled  and spent my birthday with me. My goal was not to be in Charlotte, NC when the big 30 came.  My wonderful boyfriend help me celebrate before I left with a wonderful dinner and night out in NoDa. He also surprised me by re-doing my patio while I was away.

Since May 1st, I attended two fun and beautiful weddings (one in Kansas- KA and MO are marked off my list), spent two great weekends in the mountains, and had a wonderful weekend in Boston.  Next week I leave for New York then to Amsterdam and Belgium.  10 years ago, I never imagined, I would have experienced what I have.  Their have been some down moments, but I am truly blessed to have lived the life I have. I am and have been Free…. Free to go and do what I want… Free to make decisions based on me…. Free to sleep in…. Free to eat cereal in bed…. Free to go on last minute trips.

Even though life is only going to get tougher, I am looking forward to the changes that will come my way. We will just have to wait and see…….

How I Met Your Mother (I mean Uncle)

I have started watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother and its amazing how much I can relate to this show. It is also weird how I never really was interested in this show until recently. I assume it’s because this is the  first time in 4 years that I am actually dating and the show is about Ted’s journey in life that led him to meeting his wife. He dated and he didn’t settle until he found the one (I can’t wait to see who it is).

I decided 8 months ago that I wasn’t going to settle. You see, I am a realist. I think about everything and over analyze. I know that marriage is hard and is not perfect. I am still trying to figure out how you can be married to someone for 40 plus years and still love them. The reality is, there are very few couples who can tell you that their love is as strong as it was the day they married.  I have relatives that are, or were married, for 40 plus years. Some are miserable and stay. Others have lost a spouse and miss them dearly (however their marriage was not perfect).  My worst fear is being married and wanting out. However, my best friend told me, that there is no guarantee that marriage is going to work. But if you find someone to share the journey with and who is a partner in life, then you have a pretty good chance of surviving. Below is the quote from Runaway Bride. I don’t remember movie quotes, but this is one I think of often.

“Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.”

I also believe that communication and respect is important to a successful marriage. You must talk about your feelings and respect the other for how they are feeling. You feel something for a reason, so no one should discount or get mad at how you feel.

I believe that God needs to be the center of a marriage. He will help guide you through the tough times.  It is human to forget about Him, but He is always there for you.

My goal is to not worry as much and put my faith in God. He has a plan for me, I just need to let Him take control. I look forward to one day telling my niece the story of how I met her Uncle.

Explore. Dream. Discover

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover” – Mark Twain 

While working on a project for a friend, I googled travel quotes and I came across this quote by Mark Twain.  I read it a couple of times and each time different thoughts came to mind.

““Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by ones you did do”

          The older I get the more I realize that life is short. Recently a friend passed away at 29 and left a husband and 3 children behind. It was a reality check for me.  I am truly blessed and have a good life.  I have my moments thinking about how my life could be better, but in reality I have everything I need: parents that love and support me,  the best friends a girl could ever ask for, good health, and a good job that allows me to provide for myself. The only major pain I have experienced in my life is heartbreak. I learned that you can’t plan your life out entirely. Anything can happen. However, I feel that everything happens for a reason. When you go through a break up you don’t see the good, you only see the bad. It takes time to heal and then you realize the purpose of it.  If I didn’t experience heartache 5 years ago,  I would have never experience what I have: The fun road trips, concerts, meeting new people, spending time with friends, learning a new hobby, and traveling to new places.  So now when opportunities arise, I think, “If I don’t do this, will I regret it in 20 years”?  I want to look back on my life and say, “What a ride, it was all worth it”!

“So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.”

 “Sail away from the safe harbor”- this phrase really gets me thinking about how I like to feel “safe”. I like to be comfortable in my environment. I need my friends and family close by, which makes it harder for me to be spontaneous. I remember thinking about moving out west to work on a ranch after I graduated college. The thought of being surrounded by the Grand Tetons and riding horses thrilled me. However, that would have involved me leaving behind a relationship and everything that made me feel safe.  I ended up obtaining a job and purchasing a home.  Fast forward 6 years, I traveled overseas to Spain. When I visited Marbella, I wanted to stay the entire summer, work in a little boutique, learn Spanish, and travel across the beautiful country.  Reality is I had a mortgage, cat and responsibilities to return to.   I envy my friend Erin who left her “safe harbor” and sailed to Amsterdam to teach second grade.  She is fortunate to have a career that allows her to do so.  She is enjoying every moment. So next summer, I will be sailing, with 3 other audacious ladies, to Amsterdam to visit her. I am looking forward to a new adventure and to experience a new culture.

picture provided by Erin

 Explore. Dream. Discover

Dream. That is what I do best!  I dream about what should have been and what could be. I think about the places I still want to discover.  I dream about meeting the right person and exploring new things. It is good to have dreams and goals. It is what keeps me going and what I look forward to in life.  I have my list of things and places to visit before I am 30. I haven’t done all of it, but I am proud of what I have accomplished.  Next year will be fun visiting Nashville and Amsterdam with wonderful friends!  I look forward to my adventures in the future!

I hope for all the young people out there who has yet to decide what to do with your life, before settling down, go out and seek adventure. Go and learn a new language  and emerse yourself in another culture. You will become a more diverse person and it will change your life forever!

It Seems Like Yesterday….

It seems like yesterday….. one year ago today,  I was packing for Spain and 7 years ago, I was about to graduate from college.

Where has the time gone?  On May 11th, 2003, I graduated from Appalachian State University. It was an exciting and sad day all in one.  I was excited to be graduating. It was such a feeling of accomplishment but yet, it was an end to truly the best time in my life.  It was an ending of an era and a start to a new beginning.  Looking back, I would have never pictured myself where I am today. I became a home owner at the age of 22, I have progressed in my career (but I am still not doing what I really want to do), I have traveled to places I never would have thought I would visit, I have loved, loss, and moved on,  have made new friends who I cherish, and have started a new hobby.  It was a hard adjustment for me venturing into the new world of responsibility.  I look back and ” wonder if” on certain decisions I made. Should I have moved away right after graduating? Should I have taken some time off and traveled? Did I purchase my home to soon? Should I have figured out what I really wanted to do before taking on so much responsibility?  There are days where I want to go back to school, start my own business, but I know I can’t because of a mortgage.  I am a self sufficient girl making it on her own.  Through it all, I am stronger and more independent women for the decisions I have made.

Graduation Day

Fast forward 6 years and I was boarding a plane to Spain. On May 11, 2009, my dear friend, Mandy, and I were flying overseas for the first time.  I remember feeling excitement and nervousness at the same time.  I was actually leaving the United States and going to Europe!

Looking back, it is all a blur to me. A week is not enough time to spend in Spain. I am so glad that I kept a journal and documented every place we visited along with everything we ate. I am forever grateful for Antonia and her family. They welcomed us into their home. If it wasn’t for them providing us shelter, I would have never been able to go.  (Going back to the “what ifs”, if I would have taken a different path after graduating, I would have never met Antonia, therefore, would have never experienced Spain the way I did). I hope to make it back to Spain. This time I want to spend more time in Marbella and Cadiz. At least I know it is always an available option! I look forward to many more adventures!

Antonia and I in Marbella

Good Ol’ Aunt Linda

On Mother’s Day, I ate a good ol’ Southern Lunch at Ford Place Restaurant in Mt. Gilead, NC with my Parents, Aunt Linda, and cousin Austin.  It was nice to spend time with my mom on Mother’s day as well as my Aunt. While I was in the area, after lunch we all went back to Linda’s for dessert. She was so kind to let me wonder through her house, take pictures, and find items that would make great photography props.  But before I go on and tell you about my finds, I will tell you a little bit about my Aunt.

How do I describe Linda?…… Creative. Artistic. Giving. Unique. Resourceful. Vintage. Frugal. Gardner. Sentimental. Social. Humble…. She is the youngest of 4 and the most creative. I grew up with her living up the road from me in my great grandparents farm house. That house complimented Linda perfectly and she made it a cozy home.  That home was, and still is,  special to me. It is where my roots are and where my heart will always be. My mom spent summers there as a child, as well as myself. There is something to be said about a home who sheltered and became the foundation of many generations.  There were many of good times shared in that old home. If only the walls could talk.

My Great Uncle and friends in front of the Farm House Mint Hill NC

Several years ago, she sold the house and has since moved to Mt. Gilead. She purchased an old house and once again made this a warm and inviting home.  She still has a lot of the family antiques along with new antiques.  I was amazed to walk through her house and see her talent! She is so creative! She sees things that others don’t. I love how she puts things together and makes it look trendy.  Below are pictures I took of her home.

This chair made it back to our family after being out west in Wyoming with a distant cousin for 50 plus years. It is now my photography prop.

I was able to take the top suit case for prop

Being raised around all of this is probably where I get my love for antiques and my family heirlooms. Or maybe it is because I was raised with out grandparents and all I had was the Old Farm House and the antiques that my family still possesses. I cherish the desk I sit at because my grand father made it. I adore my bedside table and quilt because it was my great grand mothers. I even treasure my first name, Margaret, because I was named after my grandmother.  These are all people I have never met, but yet I feel a closeness to them knowing I have apart of them in my home.  This is also the way I feel when I walk into Linda’s home. I feel that I am at home with my loved ones who have passed on!

Here is to you Linda! Thanks for being unique and keeping our family history alive!

Aunt Linda

Photography Give Aways

I am a big follower of Millie Holloman’s blog.  She and her co- workers are very talented and I admire their work.  I only wish I can one day be that good!

 Her, along with Three other friends, are hosting Love Affair workshop in Dallas, TX.  They are also giving a way Get It Together Kit.  It would be a great opportunity to go and learn from these amazing women. Therefore, I am writing this post and hoping I will be chosen  

Check out her site and you will be amazed!

Lots of Practice

This past weekend I was able to take lots of pictures of children.  My friends in Charleston, between the two of them, have 5 children. Four are siblings and the other is their cousin. They all got dressed in their Easter clothes for me and we had a photo shoot. With the help of my friends, we were able to capture some good pictures. The kids were great!

On my back home from Charleston, I was able to take A’s pictures. He just turned the Big ONE! He was adorable and so much fun to photograph. He loves to smile!  Overall it was a good weekend with good friends and Adorable children!

Another 1st Birthday

The weekend of Valentines, I photographed A’s 1st birthday for a co-worker. I was glad that I was able to capture the moments of her birthday. I love her beautiful Blue Eyes!